“If I don’t get this, I’m going to just die.” Ever heard something or said something like that? Did you ever want something so bad it hurts?
How does one free themselves from an undesired want? How does one still respect the aspirations which guide us in life?
As Joseph Goldstein had said in the 10% Happier app in “Non-Attachment to Results”, aspiration is a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with it. Expecting and becoming attached to the results of going for something is when things turn sour. There is a difference between wanting something with a unhealthy attachment to the results and energetically striving for something. It’s ok to go for something. It’s undesirable to get so caught up in the outcome that you set yourself up to suffer.
Now if you are not yet fortunate enough to be enjoying the 10% Happier app subscription, there is something else you can listen to called Joseph Goldstein: Letting Go of Expectations & Craving.
However, I recommend getting the 10% Happier iPhone app or getting on the web and listening to:
- “Will Meditation Kill My Edge?”
- “Non-Attachment to Results”
Yes, to get to those two items, you have to subscribe. If you’re not ready yet, get the app and listen to the free Q & A and courses first. I share more about the app in a slightly older post titled 10% Happier Meditation App Is 100% Satisfying.
Releasing yourself from painful wants can also tie into equanimity. This insight came upon me while listening to the “10% Nicer” section of the 10% Happier app. If you are not subscribed to 10% Happier, you have to spend more time digging around more. Since I really dig people like you exploring meditation, I dug into the internet for you.
There’s a funny and enjoyable video titled Sharon Salzberg on EQUANIMITY for InsightLA (Part 1). It’s a great video. Yet, it takes time to digest.
Is there a totally different way to view this? Absolutely! Let’s view this from a human behavioral design approach using Octalysis from Yu-kai Chou.
In Octalysis terms, it’s best to focus on what you want in life from a Core Drive 2 (CD2), Accomplishment and Development approach as opposed to Core Drive 8 (CD8), Loss and Avoidance. With CD2, you try something. If it doesn’t work out, you change the approach and try something else or you decide to try for something different and perhaps better. CD2 is white-hat and one is energized by pursuing it. CD8 is black-hat and the most you can hope for is the avoidance of pain. The avoidance of suffering. There’s a lot more to Yu-kai and Octalysis and even an Octalysis Explorers Facebook community if you want to explore Octalysis and its application to your life further.
So, “now what” you ask? Although you effect every single person you interact with, how you approach life is your choice. What I have found useful is to remind myself why I am striving for something. What is the good and higher purpose of what I intend to achieve? I win the game of life by trying, being resilient, letting go of attachments to outcomes, and changing direction as needed. I also keep listening to the 10% Happier app and exploring Octalysis (TEDx talk). May you be happy, healthy, and at peace as you energetically strive to achieve great things in life.
2 thoughts on “Freeing Yourself From “Want Pain” Through Meditation and Octalysis”
Awesome post! Keep it up!